I need help

[EndlessWire]

21. I really feel for you.

If any of you is a Vet, start there. You may qualify for outside in home caregivers for respite.

Another angle is getting yourself placed for getting paid for being the caregiver.

Also, you can become the person in charge of the Social Security deposits, which would enable you to hire caregivers for respite. You won't get rich, but you may get enough personal relief to help you. I did this for my Mom, and I didn't need an attorney. I spent some time in the local SS office, filled out stuff, and I gained a truly useful tool to help my Mom. No, it's not your money! Heh heh, but you get to spend his/her money on stuff that they need. I'd do it for both of them. You need counseling in that regard; SS will help you. It's an honor to do this for someone.

You can't possibly care for two disabled people 24/7 without breaking down yourself. Take what board members are telling you about this to heart. This is a hard gig. One person is hard enough. Two disabled will rapidly turn into three. Who's gonna take care of you?

Money is always a problem to solve for the more modest of us. Rich people just hire out. Don't be shy about lining up your ducks. Figure it out, be creative.

One thing that might come down the road at you is loss of the ability to get your loved ones in to see their Docs. If they can't climb into your car, that's going to be a big problem. Be aware of it. It doesn't sound like you are there yet. Always make sure they wear their seatbelts.

Sweetie, keep trying. Never feel guilty if you have to place one or both of them. You can cry, but don't quit.