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Mental Health Support

In reply to the discussion: I need help [View all]

EndlessWire

(7,545 posts)
21. I really feel for you.
Thu Jul 20, 2023, 06:43 PM
Jul 2023

If any of you is a Vet, start there. You may qualify for outside in home caregivers for respite.

Another angle is getting yourself placed for getting paid for being the caregiver.

Also, you can become the person in charge of the Social Security deposits, which would enable you to hire caregivers for respite. You won't get rich, but you may get enough personal relief to help you. I did this for my Mom, and I didn't need an attorney. I spent some time in the local SS office, filled out stuff, and I gained a truly useful tool to help my Mom. No, it's not your money! Heh heh, but you get to spend his/her money on stuff that they need. I'd do it for both of them. You need counseling in that regard; SS will help you. It's an honor to do this for someone.

You can't possibly care for two disabled people 24/7 without breaking down yourself. Take what board members are telling you about this to heart. This is a hard gig. One person is hard enough. Two disabled will rapidly turn into three. Who's gonna take care of you?

Money is always a problem to solve for the more modest of us. Rich people just hire out. Don't be shy about lining up your ducks. Figure it out, be creative.

One thing that might come down the road at you is loss of the ability to get your loved ones in to see their Docs. If they can't climb into your car, that's going to be a big problem. Be aware of it. It doesn't sound like you are there yet. Always make sure they wear their seatbelts.

Sweetie, keep trying. Never feel guilty if you have to place one or both of them. You can cry, but don't quit.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I need help [View all] SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 OP
Oh my. Hugs and prayers. If it was me.. Joinfortmill Jul 2023 #1
you have a LOT going on. Please take care of yourself first.. samnsara Jul 2023 #2
Ditto on taking care of yourself! mizogan Jul 2023 #20
I'm sorry, you are going through all this and I think you might get Bluethroughu Jul 2023 #3
I had a total mental breakdown in 1990. multigraincracker Jul 2023 #4
I think you are misunderstanding. It is the sister who wants to commit niyad Jul 2023 #22
Sorry, it'd be good for her multigraincracker Jul 2023 #27
Can someone from the Alzheimer groups hook you up with respite care for your Spouse? irisblue Jul 2023 #5
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I was told years ago not to worry if something Maraya1969 Jul 2023 #6
ECT has come a long ways. multigraincracker Jul 2023 #15
I'm so sorry ebbie15644 Jul 2023 #7
Thank you one and all. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #8
This is absolutely too much for one person to deal with. Either one of these problems enough Jul 2023 #9
I'm going to be speaking with her son. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #11
You sound as if you've reached your limit. If so, you must admit that you need professional help. ancianita Jul 2023 #10
Support Jean Genie Jul 2023 #12
Compassion fatigue is real dlk Jul 2023 #13
Is her condition, schizophrenia? That needs a different approach than meeting with a social worker. 3Hotdogs Jul 2023 #14
Clarification - a social worker may be able to assist you in finding aid in addressing the care of 3Hotdogs Jul 2023 #16
This is too much for one person to deal with. MontanaMama Jul 2023 #17
I agree PlutosHeart Jul 2023 #19
Call 988 Wicked Blue Jul 2023 #18
I really feel for you. EndlessWire Jul 2023 #21
If you're all over 65, elder affairs might be able to help Warpy Jul 2023 #23
oh, it is so much to deal with markie Jul 2023 #24
There are some excellent suggestions here, so I hope that they help. All I can niyad Jul 2023 #25
Hang in there honey kimbutgar Jul 2023 #26
she won't talk to them. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #28
Your situation has a number of high risk red flags of serious concern. Irish_Dem Jul 2023 #29
Thank you so much for your reply. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #30
Whether you are afraid of her or not, the high risk red flags are still present. Irish_Dem Jul 2023 #31
I spoke to my brother this morning SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #32
You are making progress. Irish_Dem Jul 2023 #33
Have you tried a warm line? Jillgirl Jul 2023 #34
New issues become priority SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #35
Everyone here has been so helpful and I appreciate all of your concerns and hugs. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2023 #36
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