Including assholes like your BIL. Most especially for them, because they are ignorant about how much suffering they bring upon themselves and others. Bad behavior and ugly thoughts does not create a happy life. What he sees in you is not really you, but merely a reflection of his very own mind. What he thinks about you are merely labels and opinions that he creates and cultivates in his own mind. So when he disrespects you, just practice patience and let the ugliness go by, out the door, and down the street. He is ignorant and doesn't know any better.
As to rage. Anger is poison. I have a lot of experience with anger. It has never made me happy and content. When it arises in my mind, I tell myself, "Anger is poison. Don't go there. It's not helpful." Makes it a lot easier to just let it go.
When anger arises, I contemplate the 4 Immeasurable Thoughts.
- May all beings be free of suffering and free of the causes and conditions of suffering.
- May all beings be happy, and have the causes and conditions for happiness.
- May all beings know the joy of appreciating the success, happiness, and well beings of others.
- May all beings rest in the equanimity and peace of mind with no attachments and no aversions.
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