I'm pretty low about various things right now.

[libodem]

2. Doesn't it seem peculiar

That when we have had disruptive childhoods, we recreate turmoil, in our adult lives because it feels familiar. You are intellectually intact, cuz you are a smart guy, but emotionally some issues need further exploration.

I liked the book, Games People Play, it comes from the I'm okay/You're okay, line of thinking. There is a game that people play, and I can't remember the specific name, but it involves a victim, rescuer, and a persecutor. It works in a triangle. You maybe setting yourself up for abuse by charging after the 'persecutor, only to find them tiring on you in an unfriendly and scary way, and you end up, victimized. I'm functioning by being a rescuer because, I like to help. And that is a whole other can of worms that backfires.