Anyone have problems finding friends?

[Neoma]

I'm not particularly shy. Everyone tends to be accaintances, and when I go in full depression mode, I isolate and they drop out of my life naturally. Then I go full on manic, meet a dozen people more and the same thing happens. Never a real connection nor do they seem to want a connection with me anyways. Even after meeting more than once, or when I know they have the time.

I go to libraries, bookstores, teashops, etc. No matter where, everyone is hidden behind their laptop or smart phone. Groups at the library hasn't really worked, and the only thing where people actually comes up to me, is when I dye my hair blue.

This is a real dilemma because I end up wanting to go back to the hospital to make friends. Even though they always turn into unhealthy relationships. You feel as if you belong in a community, even for a short while. Which I think has come to be a real problem.