Emotions fight dirty

[hunter]

3. My intellect always dives into the pit along with my emotions.

Then there's a three way battle to see who can drag me in deeper: emotion, intellect, or OCD.

OCD usually wins, which is no bad thing because it keeps me alive. In my worst state emotion and intellect wouldn't care if I was dead, but OCD knows dead people can't do OCD stuff. I think that's why Sesame Street's "The Count" is undead. If he was dead he couldn't count.

"Fake it 'til you make it" doesn't work for me. I can fake it until I disintegrate. If anything, I'm too good at faking it.

What does work is meds.

"Talk therapy" for me is always about climbing out of the burning wreckage of my worst crashes and then, later on, learning to live with the scars.