Guys, We Have A Problem: How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men

[Tobin S.]

5. Interesting, Steve.

I think you and I were talking in a similar vein of thought not long ago about how people who are taught to be highly self sufficient often have a problem with reaching out to others for help. While it can be a problem in women, I think the problem is much more prevalent in men in our culture.

A good place to start for men who feel cut off or isolated socially is in social clubs, I think. They are in decline as far as attendance goes in our country, but social clubs for men used to be very popular in America. I just joined the Masons and have completed the Master Mason degree. There is a great feeling of community and comradery in the organization, especially after you become a full member. But there are other organizations that are less formal than the Masons that can fulfill a similar purpose in the psyche of the American man. The Elks, Eagles, and Moose lodges just to name a few. There are also the AMVETs and the American Legion that cater to military veterans.

There are also many other avenues a man can take to become more socially connected to the community and to develop friendships. The message has to be circulated that it is okay for a man to want to develop connections with other people. Connections are what make us human and allow us to express our love and kindness.