Help. I feel so guilty and I cannot shake it.

[Jirel]

37. Realize you're being far more affected by anxiety than you think.

You got guilted, even if it was not meant badly. You are thinking about the worries of so many even less fortunate people, which is causing YOU to empathize with that. Put together guilt and anxiety brought on by the plight of so many, and you're feeling all that anxiety personally.

Are you "lucky?" Maybe in part. Right now, we're all like people in a divorce - under the best of circumstances, none of those folks is going to be as well off (materially) as they would've been had they either stayed married, or never been married. Same with everyone in this crisis. Maybe the top 1% will be as well or better off now or right after. Everyone else is having to give up important things, whether that's through income insecurity, or through loss of freedom, being stuck in place regarding goals, and fear.

You've given up something very important - your freedom, your feeling of security to leave your house, and finally sufficient sense of well-being to be able to function creatively. You're probably feeling some guilt about that latter part, also. That's a well-known phenomenon when creative folk get stuck, and rail at themselves about having all sorts of time to do art, but they feel unable.

So, how to unstick yourself?

First, give yourself permission to have all the feels. Don't try to be creative or productive for a few days. Be good to yourself and your BF. Just give yourself time to feel this until it starts feeling really old, and like maybe you don't need to do it any more.

Stay off social media, especially Facebook, for a few days. There are so many panicked, anxious, shaming, etc. messages out there, they're probably feeding your anxiety more than you even realize. Let yourself have some quiet. Read a good book instead. Look up subjects that interest you online, and learn about them. Maybe play some video games (preferably not things that can feed anxiety like timed games, violent games, and so on) until you're sick of it. If you're in the mood, take an online class or take up an app like DuoLingo. Or just sleep a bunch, if you're not sleeping now. If you can get out onto a balcony or a yard or something, and the weather isn't awful, get some nature time in. Do those things that can give you some solace without increasing stress or anxiety.

WHEN you're ready, decide to do something positive. It doesn't have to be anything big. It might be going online and getting connected with a group trying to help out others. It might be a group fundraising for artists getting very little work right now, and all you need to do is help get the word out. Maybe all you can do is get a backload of laundry done. Just as long as it's a little, positive thing.

When that feels okay-ish, try creating something. Just a teeny little something. We all hit those moments when it all feels too overwhelming, and any little artistic endeavor feels herculean just to get started. I was feeling similarly a few days last week, and I made myself go out to the wheel, and throw freaking test tiles. Nothing really creative there, but it still required hands and skills and process and will. And it was NORMAL. Now I'm back on track, not pushing it with crazy ideas that I want to build, but doing prep work on glazes and the design of a tea kettle.

Just love yourself. Don't feel guilty for feeling stuck, my goodness! Don't feel guilty for having a roof over your head. You have only the strength you have today, and tomorrow that may be different. Just make a difference in the life (yours) or lives (yours, your BF's, maybe others) you can touch by being kind, and then let the rest slowly work itself out. You WILL be able to help more people, just not this minute, under these circumstances. Trust yourself that you will, when you are able.