Veterans

Dustlawyer

(10,518 posts)

21. Glad you are still with us. I rarely look at people's names here although I keep reminding

Tue Jul 22, 2014, 08:14 AM

Jul 2014

myself to. I am re dedicating myself to do so to look for yours.

Though not in the same area, suicide and "cutting," I have something that at the heart of it you might try.

After my son died at 3 1/2, I was a basket case for about 2 years. It was very rough, drawn out death and I had to be the one to tell my other two young children. I finally began searching for something positive to take from it, I HAD TO. I finally settled on finding joy in everything I could and in living each day fully. It worked. I had been about deferred gratification, "we can't .... Until we achieve...." I looked back at the one day I had taken my son "pishing" and wished we had pished together more. So I started doing more with my kids. I started to laugh and play more and worry about money, career... less. I found that my kids didn't care about those other things, they just cared that their dad was back and spending time with them. This helped heal me more than anything. I also knew as I bet you do, that present day problems pale in comparison to the ugly past you have been through. I would catch myself worrying about something until I stopped and put it in perspective. Then I would laugh because it was really nothing.

Your kids just want their dad around, warts and all. We go through life getting cut in one way or another and bear those scars to prove it. It is how we put it all in perspective and what we choose to do about it going forward. My step daughter used to cut up her arms and we were told that it is a way to relieve pressure or stress building in her life. We talk about things more to help relieve that and she said that putting the pressure in perspective, taking a look at it (the cause of the pressure) for what it is and understanding that the issue that started it all was over and she could put it in its place and move on.

I hope you find peace and I will look for your future posts!

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[updated] Just got released from VA psych ward yesterday [View all] Victor_c3 Jul 2014 OP

I hope you find peace, my brother. Scuba Jul 2014 #1

+ Ed Suspicious Jul 2014 #18

Plus 1 nt MrScorpio Jul 2014 #35

Well, even if you aren't looking for them, here's some words of encouragement and support. MADem Jul 2014 #2

Sorry Scarsdale Jul 2014 #14

You might want to cut/delete this and repost it to the OP. MADem Jul 2014 #51

All the best Turbineguy Jul 2014 #3

I am glad you are better. hollysmom Jul 2014 #4

I hope you have continuing support. Jim__ Jul 2014 #5

Did something similar back in '75. Still here, thank the Gods. riqster Jul 2014 #6

Hey I'm 66 heaven05 Jul 2014 #7

I'm 66 as well Fortinbras Armstrong Jul 2014 #71

grandad was right heaven05 Jul 2014 #72

I agree with you. Fortinbras Armstrong Jul 2014 #74

I hope you keep fighting get the red out Jul 2014 #8

Glad you got help. democrank Jul 2014 #9

I have no idea what to say. scmoore120 Jul 2014 #10

I am glad the VA was able AsahinaKimi Jul 2014 #11

glad you're here to tell us... handmade34 Jul 2014 #13

Thank you for sharing. lovemydog Jul 2014 #12

Peace to you and your family.... magical thyme Jul 2014 #15

I am so glad you were able to be helped by the VA and come to realize mnhtnbb Jul 2014 #16

anniversaries are hell awoke_in_2003 Jul 2014 #63

You are never alone, some very kind sensitive people here, we are with you too. Stuart G Jul 2014 #17

........ daleanime Jul 2014 #19

Please, continue to share..you will help yourself and many more. mountain grammy Jul 2014 #20

Glad you are still with us. I rarely look at people's names here although I keep reminding Dustlawyer Jul 2014 #21

Sending you encouragement Sanity Claws Jul 2014 #22

Sometimes, words fail. IdaBriggs Jul 2014 #23

Wishing you joy and peace. Hugs. 840high Jul 2014 #24

PTSD lasts until it is processed. Sometimes the emotions just boil to the surface. hue Jul 2014 #25

Good for you to open up and MAN did this come at the right time for me... randys1 Jul 2014 #26

This touched me so deeply libodem Jul 2014 #27

glad you're still with us. Your experience may help others rurallib Jul 2014 #28

Thank you, Victor. Rozlee Jul 2014 #29

take care of yourself and best of luck with your treatment ! nt steve2470 Jul 2014 #30

. progressoid Jul 2014 #31

You have been to hell and almost back Sheepshank Jul 2014 #32

We walk a fine line. peace13 Jul 2014 #33

Got your back Botany Jul 2014 #34

Keep on truckin' DoBotherMe Jul 2014 #36

You are loved, remember that. I wish you peace in your heart and your mind. nt Fla Dem Jul 2014 #37

Thank you for sharing. Even this post may be the instrument that helps another go through what jwirr Jul 2014 #38

sounds like there's a big hole where Victor use to be florida08 Jul 2014 #39

Glad you're still here--I hope things turn around for you. TwilightGardener Jul 2014 #40

As a bipolar person I empathize AndreaCG Jul 2014 #41

Glad you pulled-through. Welcome back to DU. appal_jack Jul 2014 #42

I'm glad you're ok - TBF Jul 2014 #43

I wish you peace. MadrasT Jul 2014 #44

Thom Hatrmann florida08 Jul 2014 #45

Good for him...maybe it will encourage others to seek help. Lochloosa Jul 2014 #46

I visited my dad in the pysch ward when I was 14 Skittles Jul 2014 #47

your kids and your wife need you. Your parents, too. lululu Jul 2014 #48

hugs to you RainDog Jul 2014 #49

You are so not alone in your plight and I thank the stars that you came to your senses when you DocwillCuNow Jul 2014 #50

If you're on any sort of psych drugs, they will blunt your feelings Warpy Jul 2014 #52

Glad to see you back lunasun Jul 2014 #53

Glad we are able to read your words. TNNurse Jul 2014 #54

I don't pretend Coyote_Bandit Jul 2014 #55

Not just Vets but others understand also. I wish you glinda Jul 2014 #56

War War War shadowmayor Jul 2014 #57

Sounds as if you are reacting like a normal human being... nikto Jul 2014 #58

I wish you healing and peace of mind. I am glad you are here. Squinch Jul 2014 #59

((victor)) blondie58 Jul 2014 #60

I'm Not A Vet... My Dad Was... But... The Only Thing I've Ever Seen Work... For What It's Worth... WillyT Jul 2014 #61

I'm so glad that you are OK and have learned techniques to help you. Maraya1969 Jul 2014 #62

((Victor)) Iwillnevergiveup Jul 2014 #64

PTSD is forever, but you can survive it. alfredo Jul 2014 #65

Mental Health professionals do not believe that PTSD is necessicarily forever. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #67

One still has to have reality checks from time to time. Am I reacting to the hear and now, or alfredo Jul 2014 #75

PTSD *is* the symptoms. If one no longer ever experiences the symptoms, one Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #77

I guess my issue is with the term cured. I was in remission with Crohn's, but I still had the alfredo Jul 2014 #78

OK, yeah, it is generally believed that there is no "cure" for PTSD. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2014 #79

Thank you. We still don't know enough about the brain to cure the effects of experience. alfredo Jul 2014 #80

As a vet I have been there... KBlagburn Jul 2014 #66

Just think of all of the people who wished they had your problems urbuddha Jul 2014 #68

It is better to feel pain than feel nothing. alfredo Jul 2014 #76

One day at a time - one day at a time intaglio Jul 2014 #69

I'm thankful you're better. Does your wife have the support Ilsa Jul 2014 #70

Thank you, appreciate so much you took the time to write your experience for everyone. Sunlei Jul 2014 #73