How do I get through this?

[WhiteTara]

12. We can be sure that we're not sissies!

The challenge of walking into the unknown with the known outcome of death is almost overwhelming some days. My beloved had open-heart surgery almost 3 years ago which culminated in a NDE where his heart stopped for almost four minutes. Things have been a challenge for us both ever since. He now has orthostatic hypotension and can fall at the drop of a hat (so to speak) which has placed enormous burdens on my time and energy and anxiety on his. Falling is a very traumatic event and to fall for "no reason" is the worst.

I'm lucky in that I've always taken care of the money and bills. Sometimes he asks how things are,but mostly, he is content to not think about that.

Can you talk to your husband about changing roles now that you don't work so much? It might be a relief for him not to have that responsibility of keeping track of everything. Maybe just say, new rules, my dear and take over. Give him a different task to help with the household? But you should definitely be the money manager.

Maybe you could have a phone conference with your primary and discuss your concerns and set up various specialist appointments to pinpoint the true issue?

I am sure that you know what you need to do. It's just such a scary step knowing that you are alone, even though you are in a relationship and have your partner right at hand. I can relate and am sending you hugs and strength through the ether. You can do this.