Now I have to live in fear the next four years

[Coolest Ranger]

For the African American Group

It's been two weeks now since I woke up to the painful news that Trump is going to be our next President. I have been angry for the past two weeks. I have been sad the past few weeks. Then, and I can't believe I have to say this but I have been crying my brains out and mostly at night for the last two weeks.

My white friends who support me can understand my fears. I had proudly come out to certain friends, to certain family members but when I heard others saying things like they agree with the bathroom bill that really made me cringe to my stomach and it really had an impact on coming out to them. Even if I did come out would they still feel the same way they did.

Then I hear people like Perry Small, from WVON who bitches day in and day out that she's going to be fine under a Trump administration. Maxwell Billion, who comes on her show day in and day out bitching about how the democrats don't have our best interest in mind. How can I abandon a party that gave me the right to marry who ever I wanted to marry?

Now, as the reality sits in and I realized that the Republicans now control every thing, I have to be equally as careful now when I go out in public. I live in North Carolina and the part of North Carolina I live in is Trump country. When I go into town, especially before election day, I saw nothing but Trump signs all over the county. I had a bad feeling that people were going to vote for this clown. I did nothing but pray that Hillary Clinton would come out on top.

Now that Trump has won, his crazy racist supporters have started coming all over social media, calling me the n word to my face, calling me the f word to my face. I've even had a few demand my physical address so they can come and "explain" things to me. I am afraid to go out in public now. I've had to resort to telling a few family members that I won't go anywhere from now on without an able bodied person being with me. I never know if today is going to be the day that some crazy fool high on drugs or high on hate will come out of no where and start attacking me in public. I may be paranoid but that's how I feel. Everything we worked for is now in danger because certain people could not get off their behind and come and vote because they did not like Hillary Clinton. I will never forgive those voters who stayed home. I will never forgive those voters who voted for Trump. Now, I hear they are even stalking people here on this site.

I quite frankly am tired of trying to fight. Trying to talk to some people to show them the error of their ways. How can you talk to someone so stubborn so pig headed that they literary don't care if you live or not? So yes, I will be living in fear for the next four years. I don't even know if my benefits will still be here in four years. I am so terrified and afraid that I won't be able to survive this administration, so I'm going out on my faith that someway, somehow I'll get my wish of selling a show to the Hollywood community happens. I am hearing that there are massive cuts to Social Security coming and if they happen I am fairly certain I won't be able to survive. So I will hang out here as long as I can. I just hope and pray that there's someone here on Democratic Underground who has the connections can reach out to me to help my dream come true.

Until then, fear is my only companion because quite frankly I have no more faith in the human race