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sop

(11,422 posts)
Thu Mar 31, 2022, 07:03 AM Mar 2022

Grammar walks into a bar... [View all]

- The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

- A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

- A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

- A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

- An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

- Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

- A question mark walks into a bar?

- A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

- A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

- Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

- A synonym strolls into a tavern.

- At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

- A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

- An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

- The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

- A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

- A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

- A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

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I love those misplaced modifiers. Ilsa Mar 2022 #1
Helvetica and Comic Sans walk into a bar Clash City Rocker Mar 2022 #2
You're just a font of knowledge. keithbvadu2 Mar 2022 #17
Big hand, please, for sop! Fritz Walter Mar 2022 #3
Usage walks in to a bar... Probatim Mar 2022 #4
I used to be a grammar Nazi until I realised I was just being anti-semantic. sop Mar 2022 #10
What we really need is a grammar Eisenhower. keithbvadu2 Mar 2022 #18
Great list, thanks! TheRickles Mar 2022 #5
Started my day with a smile. Thank you. niyad Mar 2022 #6
A hyperbole and an idiom walked into a bar. All hell broke loose. Beastly Boy Mar 2022 #7
A homonym was barred from entering Shermann Mar 2022 #8
A piece of string walks into a bar ... chwaliszewski Mar 2022 #9
fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack House of Roberts Mar 2022 #11
It's a good thing they don't ask us which end of the tack. keithbvadu2 Mar 2022 #20
I know this joke isn't grammar related but still funny, nonetheless. Enjoy. chwaliszewski Mar 2022 #12
Grammar walks into a bar. Grampar was still parking the ca unblock Mar 2022 #13
"All intensive purposes?" DFW Mar 2022 #14
Right! "All intensive puposes" is a malapropism. Mister Ed Mar 2022 #15
I see it included in supposedly "serious" texts all the time. DFW Mar 2022 #23
Don't miss church this Easter Sunday.. Permanut Mar 2022 #16
That's one way to increase lagging attendance n/t DFW Mar 2022 #24
An alliteration blindly bicycled by both bars. notKeith Mar 2022 #19
Cognitive dissonance walked into a bar to get that glass of water. notKeith Mar 2022 #21
Dunning-Kruger burst into the bar, loudly announcing his savoir faire to the ladies. notKeith Mar 2022 #22
Your choice of baked goods probably depends DFW Mar 2022 #25
Thanks for posting. n/t TeamProg Mar 2022 #26
A paraprosdokian walked into a bar, man did that hurt! TeamProg Mar 2022 #27
I heard one today, on The Visionary Activist Show... AnotherDreamWeaver Mar 2022 #28
This message was self-deleted by its author jfz9580m Apr 2022 #29
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