You can say whatever you want, the priest can say whatever they want, but if the words aren't in tune with the heart, mind and spirit, then it's just a lie. Do you think that's going to get past St. Peter, let alone Jesus or God?
The priest is in the same position as any other person acting as a counselor. If there's a possibility of a breach of confidentiality, the integrity of the whole system is compromised. Which leads to very difficult situations such as you describe - what if someone confesses to murder or rape or child abuse? The priest, to my mind, is in a role to assist one to "get right with God", not just shove souls through the tiny keyhole of the door to eternal life. Confession may be a first step and that confidentiality may be the *only* reason some decide to take that step.
Just saying you believe something doesn't make it so. The goal isn't just to get one into heaven by hook or by crook, by saying the right words at the right time with the right inflection. If that were the case, we've already arrived. The sinner needs to make right sincerely inside and out, up and down, from stem to stern, or entry to heaven isn't happening. Not by the rules of some authority figure with a checklist of do's and don'ts but by the very nature of what one is seeking.
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