on the closeness or type of relationship we had with someone. (the closer you were the more someone on the other side is compelled to communicate? maybe it is something to that effect.)
through the years i've lost a number of people in my life. but out of all the aunts, uncles, grandmas, friends, etc. i've had very limited experiences. i only remember one a.d.c. from my father and two visitation dreams where his physical health was first improving and then when he was completely healed. and i had one a.d.c. from one of my grandmothers--who i was very close to and who lived with us--shortly after she passed.
but for two and a half years it seems i have been so fortunate for having gotten so many from my mother that i can't even count them anymore. but we lived together for years and were the best of friends. i've never been as close to anyone as i was with her--and this period in my life has been the most difficult/devastating i've ever experienced.
a couple hours before my mom passed--and we were together just waiting for the inevitable--i said to her, "i don't know how but i will find you again." she looked at me sadly and asked, "do you really think so?" and i told her yes, i really do. and i did feel that way. so strongly--because while i was telling her it was okay to let go (from this life and this body) i just felt there was no way we were going to be completely separated forever.
and as it turned out--she found me first. and i am so grateful for that.
yet in all this time i have not had a single dream of her that i can recall. i think of her each night before i fall asleep, i tell myself to dream of her or to go and see her but i don't remember a single one. i read that perhaps one of the reasons we don't have a visitation dream is for our own benefit--being that we wouldn't want to get out of bed or we'd want to sleep all the time with the hope of seeing them again. which would possibly be the case with me--especially during that first year and a half.
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