I'm not doing all that well. Memories--small/medium/large keep flooding in more than ever.

[lostnfound]

19. Complicated is opposite of shallow. Grief grows only out of the most special places in our lives.

When my mom died, one truth absolutely flooded in and helped me: I was hurting precisely because she was such a huge blessing in my life, and I was so LUCKY to have known her. I learned at age 23 that grief is like gratitude turned inside out.

Even a complicated, difficult relationship can be a blessing that changes us, teaches us, deepens our experience of life. Carl Jung was known for saying, “show me where a man’s greatest pain is today, and I will show you where his greatest growth will be tomorrow.”

When you read (or write) a book, the best parts of chapter 5 or 7 are still there even when you’re in the middle of chapter 10. They don’t go away. Life’s book is on the library shelf in the sky when you’re done, and somewhere outside of time, we are still children and growing and in love and succeeding and failing. We may not like the plot of the chapter we are writing now, but keep moving and you can wrap it up into a good meaningful ending.

Lastly, I suggest reading a book or two by Jungian author Thomas Moore, like “Care of the Soul” and “The Re-enchantment of Everyday Life” or “Original Self”. When I read Re-enchantment, it was like water pouring in to a dry desert.

Jungians suggest turning pain into art, music or writing — anything creative — and also mulling over the deeper (and wider) soul-level meanings of how we are feelings. Not as guilt, but as one of the Greek gods making its voice heard, or as our inner daemon (not demon, but a driving force or spirit in our deepest psyche) expressing itself.