The moment one asks the question "What's *really* going on here?" the trap door covering the rabbit hole swings open. It really doesn't matter what issue that first question is about. It could be about politics, economics, climate change, human behavior - anything, really.
We might think of our worldview as a knitted sweater we are wearing. The question is like an anomalous loose end of yarn poking out of the arm of the sweater. Its presence disturbs our peace of mind. Seeking the answer to the question is like pulling on that oddly misplaced thread. Once you begin pulling at it, it has the possibility of unraveling the whole thing. All one requires for the unraveling to proceed is an earnest desire to answer the successive questions that are revealed as each one is addressed in turn.
There is a decision to be made early on, once the unraveling has begun but has not gone too far yet. The decision is whether one can do without the sweater, if whole thing eventually unravels. To continue to the end poses the risk that one will end up standing naked in the world. Whether one decides to continue depends on how committed one is the idea of truth, how risk-averse one is, and how much suffering one is experiencing from the chafing of the sweater with its loose threads.
Each of us will have a different starting point (that initial loose thread) and the unraveling will proceed differently depending on our nature, our circumstances and our unfolding experience. Important determinants of progress seem to include how fearful we are, how open-minded we are, and how determined we are to get “true” answers. As the process unfolds we will go through different emotional states (apprehension, fear, anger, defensiveness, resignation, euphoria etc.)
It really helps to have others to talk to as one goes through the different phases. Having a group of fellow-travelers (a “sangha” in Buddhist terms) will help keep our courage up, and will present various unexpected avenues to extend the exploration. There is a risk to having too tight a sangha though. People are social animals, and group-think sets in easily. Because this journey is so idiosyncratically personal, it can easily be derailed by our innate herding instincts, as we begin to follow the path of the dominant group members instead of our own. So while a sangha is essential for most of us, I would suggest that it shouldn’t be too structured. Keep it loose.
Some people may stop early in the process, deciding for whatever reason that their worldview sweater is too important for them to let go of. Often a teacher or a sangha can provide the energy they need to get past that blockage and continue. Usually there seem to be several such sticking points in the journey.
In my case the loose threads were 9/11 and Climate Change. My question for the first one was “Who is behind the curtain?” and for the second was “Why aren’t we acting to save ourselves?” 15 years later, I have finally achieved peace of mind, but it has cost me all of my beliefs – including the belief that I had discovered answers to my original questions.
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