Three years ago almost now, she passed after four months being paralyzed from a massive stroke. Mostly from catching the flue from sick staff really.
Then I too, had to of exactly what you are doing for your father. Without that help, my father would not have been able to afford his apartment for very long in Assisted. You are right. People need to be aware of this information and many are not. My father actually received what is called "retirement or pension same as Aid and Assistance". He was humbled by the fact that he could receive such a thing because he felt he was not some sort of top brass or had been injured. Like you found out....there need not be any injury, just an Honorable Discharge".
I know that you are doing your best and that you will and are most likely exhausted. I know. I am still dealing with things after he passed on Oct. 5th of last year.
Blessings to you. 
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