Wife died Sunday, buried her today

[Uben]

Stage IV breast cancer recurrence, 9 yr survivor after initial DX and surgery.

Whadda ya do? We were married 17 yrs, second marriage for both of us. We clicked...a near perfect match. I was holding her hand when she passed, and she was staring in my eyes. I gently closed her eyes and said goodbye.

Amazing woman! She and my first wife, the mother of my two girls, became friends. We raised the girls as an extended family. She was a very intelligent family and mental health counselor for years. She talked to people, sometimes almost drilling them, to discover what they needed, and then proceeded to help them find ways to cope with life's hiccups. A marriage counselor who not only saved marriages, but entire families. If it wasn't going to work out, she helped them deal with their situation and taught them how to go forward. It's what she did.

Now the funeral is over, the people are gone, and it's me and my black lab, Jack. I know I'm gonna have problems, and I lived with a counselor long enough to know they can help. A close friend of ours is a minister and has offered me grief counselling. I'm gonna do it. She lost her husband 3 or four yrs ago, and she must be dealing with her own grief of my wife's passing because they were very close, so it might be a little awkward, but maybe two people working together will make it easier. Maybe not, I don't know.

Getting past the funeral was a step. It's done. Now, dealing with the solitude of living alone and tackling the problems I encounter will be my focus. I encountered my first today. Where are the checks? The checkbook only had a few checks left and I needed to get some more. She had moved them from where we had been keeping them. We have a huge house...they could be anywhere.
I did find them, but I can imagine how many times this will play out in the near future. We each had responsibilities. I did my things, she did hers. But, when she got ill, I had to do it all, so I have a leg up on that.

I don't know what lies ahead, but I know it's gonna be bumpy.