My son committed suicide 1/27--he was 25 years old

[TygrBright]

48. Please believe this: Nothing you did/did not do contributed to this.

Your son's brain was broken. You didn't break it. Probably he didn't, either. Brains break, we don't always know why or how.

He was in dreadful, unrelenting pain from that broken brain, telling him awful things about himself and who he was.

He honestly believed that taking himself away would first, end his own pain, and second, take the burden of his presence (his broken brain told him over and over that his presence was a burden to everyone he loved) from those he loved.

You could not have unbroken his brain or even fixed it.

It's possible he could have been prevented from acting as he did - there is always hope, up to the final act. But no guarantee.

And when the broken brain has gotten what it wants - the end in sight - it can be horribly, horribly efficient at concealing that purpose.

Release "guilt" from the mix of pain that holds you, if you can. You have enough to struggle with, without that.

Stay strong one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Ask for help.

There are other families who have suffered, other families who know. Try Alliance of Hope or any of the major national suicide prevention organizations in your area - most of them also help with information and connections to support for survivor families.

Your son WOULD want you to, it would lessen the terrible guilt that was part of the broken brain driving him.

One minute.
One hour.
One day at a time - keep going.

lovingly,
Bright