When do you ever stop crying?

[Irish_Dem]

37. Sounds like you have been under a great deal of stress for a long time.

And then the death of a spouse and unresolved issues.

Feeling overwhelmed with sadness, guilt, etc. To the point it is now interfering with daily living, sleep, eating, etc.

Can you call your doctor and make an appointment?
Get a referral to a good therapist and also have the doc evaluate you for
anti-depressant medication. This is especially critical if you are having any thoughts of self harm.

Also the doctor may want to do some blood work, people under stress for a long period of time can develop health problems.

The longer these symptoms go on, the harder it is to treat.

Your symptoms are indicating classic depression which is fairly easy to treat with meds and counseling.

The counseling can help you deal with the guilt which is common after a death of someone we are close to. You are not a doctor so you didn't know he was ill, thought he was being difficult and trying to cope with it. If it was a gradual decline then the spiral was incremental. Which means you may not have realized how bad it was until the end.

Good luck my dear, you can start feeling better soon. Try to be kind to yourself. You have been through quite an ordeal.