Looking for some advice. We are out of our depths and quite lost at sea...read on.

[pnwmom]

9. NO! If divorce requires a mandatory year of separation, why would you advise her to cohabitate?

I don't get it.

She needs a lawyer to give her good advice. If you can help her get one, that would be the best way to help.

Here's a page from a judicial website in North Carolina. (I've just included a few excerpts; she should read the whole thing.)

https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce-and-marriage/separation-and-divorce

How can I get legally separated in North Carolina?

A separation agreement or other written document is not required to be legally separated in North Carolina. To be considered separated from your spouse, you need to be living in different homes, and at least one of you needs to intend that the separation be permanent. In general, you are not legally separated if your relationship has ended but you still live in the same home, or if you live in separate homes without the intent to be permanently separated (for example, for work purposes).

What are the requirements for a divorce in North Carolina?

You are eligible to file for divorce, also called an “absolute divorce,” only after being separated for at least a year and a day. This means that you must have been living in different homes and that at least one of you intended that the separation be permanent during that time. To file for a divorce in North Carolina, either you or your spouse must currently live in North Carolina and must have lived in the state for at least six months before the divorce case is filed.

What happens if I don’t file for property division or spousal support?

If no one files for property division (by filing a claim for “equitable distribution”) before the absolute divorce is final, both parties forever lose the right to ask a court for a property division. If this happens, you keep only the assets that are either titled in your name or in your possession. If you own any property in both names, this property will stay in both names even though you have divorced. The same rule applies to debts.

If no one files for spousal support before the absolute divorce is final, both parties forever lose the right to ask a court for alimony. Because a divorce permanently cuts off the right to equitable distribution and alimony, it is important to contact an attorney to assist you in preserving your rights.