Bernie's Super Secret Plan To Help Democrats By Debating Biden!

[TomCADem]

We know that Biden should start preparing to campaign against Trump in the General Election. So, being the longtime, loyal Democrat that Bernie is, it turns out that Saturday's debate is just the culmination of a collaborative effort by Bernie and Biden to prepare Biden for the general election.

You see, Bernie has been working long and hard, decades in fact, to engage in a bit of cosplay to prepare Biden for someone like Trump. This is why Bernie has done the following in order to properly prepare Biden:

1. Act like a person who has pushed racist, right wing talking points scapegoating immigrants and calling efforts at immigration reform "open borders" or "amnesty" such as in the following appearance on Lou Dobbs:

Bernie's appearance on anti-amnesty special with Lou Dobbs will really help Biden hone his skill in blowing up right wing talking points scapegoating immigrants for unemployment, disease, crime, etc.

2. Act like a hypocrite who has long history of engaging in nepotism and sponsoring foundations and businesses that have financially benefited his family. This is why Bernie has denounced dark money, but has surrogates running SuperPACs like Our Revolution. Likewise, attack opponents for running private foundations, then (you guessed it), run a private foundation to advance your candidacy, the Sanders Institute, then pay your son-in-law a six figure salary even if has no experience running private foundations. This should help Biden get some practice attacking Trump for such foundations. Way to go Bernie!

3. Have a long history of criticizing the need for NATO. Bernie has denounced NATO as being a waste of money and even floated the idea of admitting Russia into NATO even though its purpose is to protect Europe from Russian aggression. This will give Biden a chance to emphasize the importance of standing by our allies in times of crisis like the current Coronavirus pandemic, rather than abandoning them and cozying up to Russia. Once again, Bernie's decades long playacting has been superb.

4. Attack the media and complain about coverage as being biased against him. This cosplay as a narcissist is uncanny. When he does not get coverage, its the Bernie Blackout! When he gets mild criticism, its corporate bias! Complain about MSNBC and CNN, then run to Fox, which will side with you in your fights with Democrats. Bravo Bernie! It almost looks like you really do want the Democrats to lose in 2020. This will help Biden deal with Trump who is complains that coverage of the Coronavirus is just an effort to set him up for impeachment. This gives Biden a chance to say, "Sorry Bernie/Trump, the world does not revolve around you."

5. Elevates himself by demonizing the Democratic party. This is why Bernie has engaged in the weird strategy of repeatedly attacking the Democratic establishment, whose foundation is black voters, even though the race is to be the Democratic nominee. Trump is always bragging about how he is an outsider standing up against the establishment. Likewise, Bernie who has been in Congress since 1991, has been pretending to be an outsider who is standing against the establishment he hopes to lead.

6. Side with Russia against U.S. on election security. Bernie was one of two people to vote against Russian sanctions for election interference. Likewise, Bernie voted against the Magnitsky Act, which was the subject of the infamous Trump tower meeting. Finally, Bernie ditched a close Senate vote designed to stop Trump from lifting Russian sanctions. This is particularly convincing bit of cosplay to channel Trump's inner Putin stooge.

7. Side with authoritarian dictators. Before SNL was doing skits with Trump and Putin, Bernie was fawning over Castro and going on honeymoons in Soviet Russia. And, unlike Trump, we have the actual tapes! Yup, Bernie was laying it a bit thick on this one.

8. Refuse to be transparent about their health. Bernie has promised comprehensive disclosure of his health following his heart attack, but never mind, here is a Trump-like letter saying he is just fine.

9. Repeatedly undermines our Democracy by claiming that elections are being rigged against him by the establishment or the deep state. For example, the claim by AOC that Bernie lost MI due to voter suppression even though turnout particularly among black voters was at record levels? Funny! AOC later let us know she was just kidding!

Link to tweet

10. Refuse to provide details. The Wall? Mexico will pay for it! Medicare for All? No one knows how much it costs (Bernie has said several times he has no idea how much his plan costs). Even better, watch Bernie respond to questions about how to pay for his plans by raising non-sequiturs.

11. Side with gunmakers and vote against control measures like the Brady Act. This is Bernie's chance to mimic Trump by promising to overturn the gunmaker immunity that he helped pass!

So, there you have it. The debate on Saturday is the result of a decades long, forward thinking cosplay by Bernie Sanders to prepare Joe Biden to debate Trump. It is so convincing, that if you close your eyes and put your fingers in your ears, you can still hear Bernie channeling his inner Trump and yelling, angrily during the debate and attacking the Democratic establishment like a Republican.