Terrified they'll take my ssdi

[edhopper]

6. Breathe

This is probably your shrink has told you. Don't go down the hole of dark thoughts of what might happen. Accept the ambiguity and tell yourself you will deal with it IF it happens. If it doesn't you have spent a lot of time with negative emotions that you didn't have too.
These are uncertain times. We must try to not let them put us in a downward spiral. Do little things that make you feel better.