I'm out of toilet paper.

[Marthe48]

10. Old fashioned

1. My mother-in-law raised most of her kids in a house with no indoor plumbing. They kept a stack of Sears catalogues in the outhouse and would tear pages out. One of her relatives kindly pointed out that even if they had to use an outhouse, they could buy t.p. for it.

I went to Canada the year I turned 14. I was with my uncle and grandmother. We parked the car at a boat launch, where a trustee would take us across the lake to the house. As posh as it was, there was an outhouse to use. I went in and noticed a metal box attached to the wall, maybe said for emergency use on the front. I opened it up and there were 3 dried corn cobs, white, red, white. I shut the box, and came out, very curious. I asked my uncle and grandmother. My grandmother looked shocked and my uncle snickered. He explained that you used the white cob first, then the red, and finally the other white to be sure. I kind of wonder how my city uncle knew. lol

Finally, an old joke. A lady was hosting a tea party. She had everything just right, pretty linen, heirloom tea cups, dainty finger food. Right before the guests were due to arrive, she discovered she was out of toilet paper. In a flash of inspiration, she went to her sewing room and grabbed a bunch of old dress patterns, and cut them into squares, and stacked them in the bathroom. The guests arrived and oohed and aahed over the lovely tables settings. One of the ladies went to the restroom, and came back in awe.
She told her friend in a whisper, "Our hostess is so fancy, she has toilet paper marked Front and Back!"

Hope you can get to the store!