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i'm so deeply sorry for what you're going through
and for what your husband must have been going through
it sounds like something with that surgery didn't go right or put him in a state of depression.
what a tragedy--so much sadness.
if you don't want to be alone then don't. ask someone to stay, or go to their house. (someone who will be there if you want to talk, someone to take care of the little things--shopping, cooking, getting the mail, etc.)
and we're here.
go slow--take it easy--
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